What kind of a life are you dreaming of? Me? Well, I’m dreaming of a life less ordinary!
The image above is my dreamboard, which sits just to the left of my desk. I update it every once in a while, but most of these images and quotes have been on here for about 3 years. Some are now on top of each other, crowding each other, but if you look closely, you can see where I focus and what I find inspiring.
There’s nothing wrong with ordinary, I’ve mostly done ordinary for 47 years … some parts have been big and bold, but mostly I’ve done what we all do – had a baby, got married (yes, in that sequence), bought a home and cars and had more babies, moved countries, divorced and started all over again. But overall, it was ordinary, like most of my friends and family, but this caterpillar is turning into a butterfly and wanting to flap her wings and our version of ordinary and predictable is not what my soul craves.
Today I took a brave step, a little step, but a brave one for me. To many it would just be a step, but for me it was big. I’m very independent and despite how I come across and that most people consider me to be very confident, I am really shy. I cover my shyness with an air of confidence … my little mask. Along with my shyness, I fear rejection in a real and serious way, so I don’t often put myself out there. But I’ve been working on all these things and a lot of the motivational quote I share are more for me than those I share them with.
But I’ve thought about doing this and considered it and pondered it for a few months and finally decided to take a gamble and send an email. I prepared myself for the possibility of rejection. I told myself ‘self, there are many other people you could approach, so don’t let a refusal deter you’. However, much to my joy, the reply was favourable and there is a possibility that the photographer I approached will let me shadow her on a few shoots. I’m anxious to find a mentor, someone who is doing what I dream of doing, someone who could help me learn and refine my skills. Someone who could show me the path.
Its less ordinary, for me it in fact, its been my dream for 30 years – that’s a long time to dream of this. There are days where I wonder if I’m just stir crazy and should simply go and find another office job, but then I have these moments, where I swear I see an angel peep through the clouds and give me a thumbs up, a whisper on the wind says ‘keep going’. So, I’m trusting in the still small voice, gathering my resources, pulling the harness tight and stepping out bravely – although my knees are clacking together like jittery teeth, I’m taking the steps I’ve been thinking of and dreaming of and to tell the truth, its so exciting, terrifying yet at the same time, liberating indeed and so less ordinary.
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