A close friend said a few weeks back that coming up to a 50th birthday, a great many women find that they go through all sorts of chaos, a kind of cosmic clear out or a time to deal with that which they have ignored or not come to terms with. Its clearing out the old to start the new journey. I’m finding that I am dealing with a lot of things around emotions and a lot around closure and finding a new path in my life.
This has been a challenging year for me. From parting with my partner of 8 years, not quite earning a living as yet (I am refusing to refer myself as unemployed any longer), deciding where to next on this journey, waking up and realising its time to dismantle the Rome I’ve built since returning to South Africa 11 years ago, seeing my children spread their wings and finding that I’m suddenly anchorless and with no responsibility to anyone but myself, but choosing to view it all as a threshold to new and exiting horizons.
Yesterday another friend and I were discussing how we had believed our lives were going to go. How we expected to have men who looked after and cherished us. The whole knight in shining armour fairytale we seem to have embedded in our DNA. I sure didn’t expect to be turning 50 and single. Nor was I expecting that none of my children would be in the country and much less did I expect to be deciding on where to go next. So much unexpected and uncertainty was certainly not how I saw 50. But it is what it is and therefore, I’m dealing it as best I can.
On the positive side of all the rather negative sounding text above, which when I look at it from the bigger picture, its not really, depending on how you choose to look at it. I have a good few years ahead of me, God willing. I’m overall very healthy, I have the gripes many women do, sagging eyes, a head of grey hair that I’m fighting every four weeks as I’m loathed to embrace it, but this could very well be the turning point for me. Acceptance and acknowledgement.
Today I unexpectedly found myself at home. I decided that since the weather is really quite mild and I was not in the mood to wear jeans again this maxi dress made its way out the closet. I love that its possible to get extra wear out of summer items when the weather is in-between.
I paired it with an old denim shirt, my trusty pearls and a pair of leopard print navy pumps. Easy and light all in all. I love that denim can be worn with almost anything and can be creative.
“`Be around the light bringers, the magic makers, the world shifters, the game shakers. They challenge you, break you open, uplift and expand you. They don’t let you play small with your life. These heartbeats are your people. These people are your tribe.” ~Unknown
An interesting read I found today – check it out here
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